MM to all,

I am trying (hate that word) to get a bit moe regular at this blogging.  It seems the only time I write it is asking, praying for help.  Things are not always that bad in my world.  There are just times it is overwhelming and I need to vent. 

I think I need to make a note on my posts to say if I am venting.  I tell my husband that when he is venting that he needs to tell me, up front, that it is not directed at me.  It keeps me from taking it on and thinking he is yelling at me. 

I am a sensitve and fix it kinda gal, so there are times I will break and cry over being told  I need to load and run the dishwasher, lately it seems.  Big ole sissy pants girl.  lol

I go to the chiroprator today to ge the results of the x-ray my daughter set up for me.  Someone else on the planet agrees that It could be something in my sine or elsewhere that might be causing all the problems in my various body parts, not periferal neuropathy.  So I may be able to get it fixed at a reletively inexpensibly.  Crossing my fingers.  If it is I will be checking on some accupuncture treatment.  If that is either costly or not available I will check on massage therapy or just stick with the dude I am seeing today.

Life is looking up today.  I am getting some unemployment and that will help me get the funds to make some payments on the things I need to pay.  Like car payments and medical bills.  Yippee!!!

Off to get the ball rolling on my day.  I hate it when Harleys go down the main street in town.  I live right by it, and it kicks me into my fantasy of ' wow I should be on one of those.'  lmao

Blessings to all,

Nancy

Another day is almost over.  I am doing fairly well with my mom other than occasional frustartions, but these kind of dissapate soon.

I have pretty much done nothing but relax.  I certainly didn't do any of the work I have to do.  So I will have to do it later.  I have sat on the compter (not literaly, LOL) most of the day so tonight I have to get the Treasures report done for my meeting tomarrow.

I just wanted to say hello to everyone and Merry Meet.  I am doing my best to discover ways to deal with the stressers going on in my life.  They are better when I stop, take a breath and ask the Goddess to help me out.  That has been the best stress reliever I have ever tried.

Think Different

I am smiling now and not going to allow anyone elses mood get under my skin.  This day willbe the first of many good days.

In love and shining starlight

Blessing to all

Nancy

MM to all,

I am in need of keeping all posted to avoid a total melt down.  Actually I am in need of my friens and their willing support. 

One more time I bailed and am not able to place mom in an assisted living facility.  She so does not want to go to one and just be allowed to stay home.  The support I get from family is so minimal.  My neice and daughter both tell me I am nuts and that this is killing me.  My doctor is not real fond of the idea to let her be at home either.

My husband is at least telling me to let her stay home, even knowing the hills that my come and the less time he will have me at home.  I don't know where his wanting me to follow her wishes is coming from but I am happy there is someone who says they are behind me on this.

I called today and told the place I was going to take her that she would not be coming.  I cannot recall whaat they said about the $500.00 I put down to hold the room.  So right now I don't know if it will be returned or if it is just lost.  Either way it is the least of my concerns at the moment.

We found out that my daughter has end stage, phase one Degenerative bone disease.  this would totally make sence of all her back, neck and other health problems.  The doc told her that if she would have been x-rayed last year when this was going on the would have found it and could have been treating her this whole time.

I saw my doctor the other day and she actually got to see the massive jumping my legs are dooing now.  Once she managed to get my feet in the stirupps the would not stop jumping until I was sitting up again.  She wants ne to go back to the neurologist to lable it so that they can start treating it now.  Whoopee mor doctor bills and other expences that I have no money to pay, sure wish they would give me directions to that money tree.

Yes I can feel the bitterness rising up in me.  I am working hard to continue to fight it off.  It is becoming a dark cloud that engulfs me at times.  I do know that there are ways to deal with it appropriately, but there are times I can only ask for help to keep it and my anger in check for dealing with my life.  I am grateful that the out of control thoughts do not overwhelm me and I can still see the positive possibilities and focus on other life areas. 

I need to get ready to go up and bring mom down to my house again for the day.  This is the best way I have found to get us both through the day and allow me to get some typing and things done here.  I actually made me cook dinner for my husband last night because I needed to feed her too.  There are happy things coming out of all this.

Blessings to all, Nancy

This will be short, for me at least.  I am, with any luck going to be able to get my mother in an assisted living place by this weekend.  I am sad, scaired, and joyfull all at the same time,  Pretty emotionally slammed to the wall.  I have 2 places I would like to see her get into.  They are both very different and I have to choos one.  She can't in all fairness becuase I am lucky if she remembers anything 5 minutes let alone two faciities.

I just wanted to stop and say hello and let everyone know all is well here.  Any way on some level it is well.  I know that I am drained and just about have no energe left for me or anyone else.  I have to find a way to shrink my daily stressors where I can.  At least my home business is holding it's own so my spousal type person is not bugging me to look for a job right now.  He has really mellowed out since I have been doing so much with my mother.  It's one of those that is kind of a I need for you to at the very least support me in this since he won't  do anything else to help me out.

I am still doing the best I can to stay in touch with any part of my life that I can is down times.  My quandry has been sedated for at bit and I now have a plan of action.  I will take the one I have now and if we want to mover her later on we will.  Just that much of a plan has eased so much of the termoil in my head and heart to calm to a gentle scream.  The goddess and Gods do wo show me the path when I take a moment to listen. 

Blessings and joys to me and you.