I am trying (hate that word) to get a bit moe regular at this blogging. It seems the only time I write it is asking, praying for help. Things are not always that bad in my world. There are just times it is overwhelming and I need to vent.
I think I need to make a note on my posts to say if I am venting. I tell my husband that when he is venting that he needs to tell me, up front, that it is not directed at me. It keeps me from taking it on and thinking he is yelling at me.
I am a sensitve and fix it kinda gal, so there are times I will break and cry over being told I need to load and run the dishwasher, lately it seems. Big ole sissy pants girl. lol
I go to the chiroprator today to ge the results of the x-ray my daughter set up for me. Someone else on the planet agrees that It could be something in my sine or elsewhere that might be causing all the problems in my various body parts, not periferal neuropathy. So I may be able to get it fixed at a reletively inexpensibly. Crossing my fingers. If it is I will be checking on some accupuncture treatment. If that is either costly or not available I will check on massage therapy or just stick with the dude I am seeing today.
Life is looking up today. I am getting some unemployment and that will help me get the funds to make some payments on the things I need to pay. Like car payments and medical bills. Yippee!!!
Off to get the ball rolling on my day. I hate it when Harleys go down the main street in town. I live right by it, and it kicks me into my fantasy of ' wow I should be on one of those.' lmao
Life is still draging along. We started the process to get my mom in an assisted living center. We went to Twin and did an evaluation, she still qualifies to go too assisted living, it's the funding we can't do. They want $2600.00 a month to have her there.
We are doing the paperwork now for Medicaide. I avoided that as long as I could. I don't want to have everything she has in her home to repay the state. It is a painful deal but there are no options at this point. I have come to realize that I can not do it all alone.
I have wonderful women supporting me in this journey and for that I am grateful. All of these friends are people I have met in places like this. Amazing concept, this internet. The people in my life woutside of these places apparently are what you call fair weather frinds. When I am centered and things are going well they are there otherwise, my problems are mine and they have no time. NO THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ANYONE WHO IS ABLE TO A FRIEND ON ANY OF MY PLACES SUCH AS THIS.
When I am struggling with helping my mom keeping her unconfused and remembering where she is and that she is not moving, I am struggling with making enough money to at least put some on them so they back off. It is hard to do because I also like to shop. I shop Walley World and K Mart type stores but it is still a temporary solution to a very long term problem. :(
A have to remember all the things I have to be grateful for each day. There is a lot and I feel better after I refocus on the positive aspects of my life. Sounds easy don't it? NOT It is hard sometimes to hang onto the good stuff. Due to this and being extremely Poor it helps fuel my depression and that keeps me from getting anything done. I have 4 reports to get done that are late to the courts. Not good since the courts are the ones who keep me going most of the time. Them, attorneys, and the local police.
I don't leave the hose much at all. That drives me crazier than calls from the bill collectors. Telemarketers are still the the number 1 on the list of what makes me nuts.
I plan on going to a meeting tomarrow morning regarding drug/alcohol laws, rules and needs in this area. That will begin getting me back into the swing of what's going on. I need CEU's, fast, and this is the best way to find out what is available. I just hope that it will also allow me to just get out of the house uninvolved with all the heart stuff I have going on.
The date is my solution to never knowing what to title my blogs. Works for me and then I even know when I did it.
The beginnings of another week. Hubby left about 2:00 am headed for Colorado with a load of hay. He will pop in on Tuesday sometime and leave shortly afterwards and return home on Thursday afternoon or evening. This leaves me with a lot of time to study and do whatever I want. Most times that is nothing.
I need to start planning ahead and work out some things to do to occupy myself. All this down time is not very healthy for me. I have people I could visit, my excuse is I don't want to disturb them, I could sit with mom, she would love that, or I could go to a 12 Step meeting. Those things all sound so healthy that it almost scares me.
I think I will take some time this week to finish getting the trailor ready for camping. I just have to finish putting a few things away, no big deal there. I have the cleaning done and most of the small things out of the way. Need to restock the cupbords and make a list of what we need. I decided this year I will list what we have and go from there. Sounds easiest to me since we usually end up with so much we don't need or use.
The first big campout will be in July up above Ketchum, ID. Hubby is planning on going with me. Good thing of I would either have to restock the camper van or tent it. This campout it has rained every year we go to this site, so I really don't want to tent it. I will , however do what ever it takes to go. I rarely miss this one.
OK off to my one day of work. i don't need to be there until 5 but what the heck. I have a lot of typing to do and I might as well use their ink. Yes I only get paid what I earn, not for the time I am there, otherwise I would have been there hours ago. :)
