MM

Life is still draging along.  We started the process to get my mom in an assisted living center.  We went to Twin and did an evaluation, she still qualifies to go too assisted living, it's the funding we can't do.  They want $2600.00 a month to have her there.

We are doing the paperwork now for Medicaide.  I avoided that as long as I could.  I don't want to have everything she has in her home to repay the state.  It is a painful deal but there are no options at this point.  I have come to realize that I can not do it all alone. 

I have wonderful women supporting me in this journey and for that I am grateful.  All of these friends are people I have met in places like this.  Amazing concept, this internet.  The people in my life woutside of these places apparently are what you call fair weather frinds.  When I am centered and things are going well they are there otherwise, my problems are mine and they have no time.  NO THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ANYONE WHO IS ABLE TO A FRIEND ON ANY OF MY PLACES SUCH AS THIS.

 When I am struggling with helping my mom keeping her unconfused and remembering where she is and that she is not moving, I am struggling with making enough money to at least put some on them so they back off.  It is hard to do because I also like to shop.  I shop Walley World and K Mart type stores but it is still a temporary solution to a very long term problem. :(

A have to remember all the things I have to be grateful for each day.  There is a lot and I feel better after I refocus on the positive aspects of my life.  Sounds easy don't it?  NOT  It is hard sometimes to hang onto the good stuff.  Due to this and being extremely Poor it helps fuel my depression and that keeps me from getting anything done.  I have 4 reports to get done that are late to the courts.  Not good since the courts are the ones who keep me going most of the time.  Them, attorneys, and the local police.

I don't leave the hose much at all.  That drives me crazier than calls from the bill collectors.  Telemarketers are still the the number 1 on the list of what makes me nuts.

I plan on going to a meeting tomarrow morning regarding drug/alcohol laws, rules and needs in this area.  That will begin getting me back into the swing of what's going on.  I need CEU's, fast, and this is the best way to find out what is available.  I just hope that it will also allow me to just get out of the house uninvolved with all the heart stuff I have going on.

Love to all, BB