I just got to thinking that if I truely believe talking about things takes the power out of them, I need to talk. 

Life and being bi-polar is getting the best of me.  I have gone into a funk from hell.  It has been going on for a couple of weeks.  I don't seem to be able to get myself moving to do anything.  My house is going to pot even though I want to get up and get things done, or at least I know I need to do things like dust, vacumn, run the dishwasher, etc.  I tend to think about these things and then go into brain fade and don't think about them again for a few hours. 

I do know that I need to push myself through this, and that it too shall pass.  Years of experience and some ability to remember things I realize that I have ot not let it rule me  if I ever want to get out of this.  Some of it I also know is brought on be my life situations now.  I am, to all extents and purposes, unemployed right now, No income, and have been continuing to care for my mother, who seems to be getting worse.  It is all causing a lot of insanity and problems in my home and my life.

My best and most comfortable time of the day seem to be the last couple of hours asleep, and very late at night or early in the morning however you want to look at it.  The sleep part is because that is when the puppy comes and is ready to cuddle in bed.  I just feel loved and secure than. 

Late nights is due to the fact that I seem to be unable to sleep, or go in to bed one, and it is so quiet outside.  I live in town, it is exceptionally rural, and all the traffic is died sown and the sky is lit up with stars as far as I can see.  I just so wish that it could be like this more.  I loved living in the country where there were more stars to see and it was quiet a lot.  I doubt this will happen again though.

I feel like I am whining.  I am glad that I have friends and people who care enough to be concerned about me when I am not around for a while.  That's a lot more than some people have in their lives. 

Time to get off my butt and start pushing the dark curtains aside and get moving. 

Nancy