I just thought I would write one last time in this blog.  I can't think of anything I have written previously that is important enough to cut and paste/move to the new page. 

What I want to do is let the new site be a new beginning.  Kind of like I am doing with my life these days.  Ther has been enough things change in my life over the last year that I came to the decision that I am just going to start fresh.  Why wait until Jan. 1st to do it, or even in conjunction with Samhain.  I guess that this would be in conjunction with Samhain.  Not an intentional decision though, at least not on my part.

I am finding things are becoming old and my attitude to family and friends is becoming bitter and jaded.  I'm just not liking where it is going. 

Today I will look at doing some thing to note where I want my new life to go, journal or something.  I find that when I write things I get a clearer picture of them.  I need to make time to do this when I can be left quiet and can focus appropriately.  That will be the hardest part. 

Then I have to look at what those goals will lead, my ultimate goal.  As well as what this looks like and how it could potentially effect those in my life that I will be touching.  My goal is not to hurt others if at all possible.  I don't think anything I do will touch those 'friends' in my face 2 face world.  That is because I do not see most of them and if I do it is because I reach out to them.  In other words they probably won't even know that anything has changed.

Pretty pessamistic I know, down right cyinical, this is why I am needing change.  This is sooo not who I have ever been let alone who I want to be.  For the most part my family won't even notice any changes unless I put them out there.

I want to thank all of my friends here for their support and strength during this.  In part that is what is telling me that I need to get in gear and do something.  You have taught me and encouraged me to look at my life and the things that I want or don't want in my life.  As well as, to always look to the good and Do no harm when I focus on sending my needs to the universe.  You do that even unknowingly, in your posts.

Bright, Beautiful Blessings to all

Probably spelled it wrong, but I had one a few minutes ago.

There are alot of little sayings and stuff that float through my mind like clouds on a spring day. One that just did is; This is the first day of the rest of my life. That one fits into o lot of definitions in my day, depending on what's going on, my mood, and what or who it is in relation to.

Tody it is simple. There is so much chaos and pain in my heart at the moment that it is hard to focus. Today I can start not only my day, but the path of my life at any time. Today I can choose to folow my dreams, let my heart lead the way or just not let others define who and what I am or am not.

Today I am Nancy, I am a beautiful, loving and magical peace of work. My work not societies, or "Gods", or my families peice of work. I design it, mold it, iron out the chinks in the folds and shine it up or throw it away and start again. Today I love Nancy with her inner strength and beauty, her passion for life and her love of others and the world in general.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I hope it is for you all too.

Blessings and love,
Nancy

MM to all and great happiness,

I can never believe how long ago my last blog was.  Life is just a huge ball of yarn that is coming unraveled on both ends.  Chaos sometimes for me is a good motavater.  That is where I am right now.  I have been able to reach out and allow myself to be open and supportive to other friends.  It does not have to rotate around me right now.

My mom is doing a bit worse with her memories, and I still do my best to help her stay it the here and now.  Somedays it is easier than others.  I am getting my hours done to relicense for my business.  I need to have a valid DUI evaluaters license to do evaluations through the courts.  I feel like I am in school again, kind of fun this time.  It is a need but at the same time it is a total choice.

I want to be able to make healthy choices right now in my life.  My connection has gotten clearer understanding than ever in my past.  Feels good and lifts me up into the clouds with joy and peace.

Sounds kind of sappy but it is the only way I can say how I feel.

Beauty and Blessings to all.

Well as some know what is going on I will brief in the event discription.( I know selling).  I took my mom camping from Sept. 10 - 14.  We were out at the lake getting regrounded and centered for me and something new for her.  We had a trailer so that was a blessing.

Well as is obvious I did not kill her or her me.  It was actually relaxing and a bit of a bonding event as well.  She seemed to function better over the time we were there.  Could it just be that she was not alone and I was a lot more patient??  I was making her figure out the answers to some of her questions, rather than trying to give her the info.

Since coming home she has fallen, very fast, back into the unknowing, no recall area she was in prior to the trip.  She is so far in that she has once again been thinking that my biological dad is kicking her out of her home and moving my step-mother in.  Would never happen.  He has no animosity towards he and already has 2 homes he is taking care of.  One in Wyoming (summer) and the other in California (winter).  I just can't seem to find a way to log that in her memory banks.

It amazes me that we got along wonderfully all 4 days and nites.  The only trouble I had was her unstoppable talking in her sleep.  She also seemed to be loving the time with my pup.  She sleeps with no apparent movement at her home.  The campout was a whole nother world, tossing and turning all night long.  She ate like there was no tomarrow.  It was good to see, just another reminder that she needs larger meals at home.  She was eating like 3 times more out therew than normal for her.  Fresh air and sunshine work wonders on a persons ability to sleep well as well as their appetite.

We are home and totally ready to start the day anew.  The weather was also nice, blew lightly in the day and was calm during the evening.  My being out and able to see the stars and mother nature was amazing and I am extremely grateful for it.  Blessed  be the Goddess and the Gods.